When You Have The Change...(RUFKM, I Thought It Was Done With!!!)

(Caution: Language pertaining to the woman's anatomy and functions will be described in the following article. This is important and should be shared with anybody you feel has not been upgraded on their education of what to expect in Peri-menopausal and Menopausal)

      I'm not an expert on health by any means but what I've been experiencing for the past few years (stopped counting after 5 or so), is no less than an incessant inconvenience of all sorts. I've had body pains, night-sweats (just pure pleasure that is, not!), and some other debilitating symptoms. I had inquired with several doctors within my town regarding these ailments and was told,

     "No, you are not menopausal. Get more exercise." And that was the extent of it.

     January, 2016 comes around and everything is pretty much going the same, minus all the symptoms listed previously. Then February, and no period. Then March, and no period. As I etched into the end of April, I was getting ready to pop the champagne and begin life without the baggage of feminine hygiene products, ever. I also wasn't feeling the best, physically, either. There was sharp pain in the upper back by the spine that was causing some much grief. Not enough to send me to the doctor as I was managing and the discomfort seemed to be easing, as 4- 5 days went by.     

     On April 30, as I prepared for evening sky-watching through YouTube, a sudden urge to urinate sent me to the bathroom where I discovered that Mother Nature was not finished with me yet. This first frustrated me. Quite a lot more than just a bit. I grumbled as I went to bed and was still grumbling when the alarm went off. Almost talked myself into thinking it was the wrong day and would have gone back to bed. I blame my period for that, because I just spent two months of pure bliss. No cramps, no bloating, no back-pains from hell and especially, NO PADS.

     But no, overnight, my jeans are sausage-tight, no joke. And my skin feels like it's going to breakout any minute. I'm too old for this shit!!! And I don't want to, nah! I spent almost every other hour of the following day (today) hoping that it was just a 'blip' in the schedule and would be done by the end of the day. That didn't happen, either. 

     I know that my BFF just went pure hell as she seemed to have all the symptoms  x 10 and even referred to feeling like a pig being bled-out, for days on end. I wanted to ask her about my current circumstance, but considering how awful her experience was, I couldn't. So I did the next best thing: Googled it! (And it worked. Imagine that.)

     First off, I'm not nuts and you ladies out there, are not going nuts either. We are stuck in the 'Perimenopausal Stage' (Premenopause). And this can last for what seems like a second lifetime. And it is common for 'Aunt Flow' to come in and out of her cycle until full Menopause takes over. And yes, it might get more painful, complete unpredictable and seem like the bleeding is heavier than in previous cycles. This not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to feel like a teenager again.

     

     Second, big, huge Thank You to the people at Canadian Women's Health Network, who put together one heck of a website that is going to help me figure all this crap out. Third, doctors need to start giving women more information on what's going on with their own bodies. We don't all have a gynecologist available, a big sister who's been through it or a mother who's comfortable enough to share her experience. Even if the doctor is male and is uncomfortable himself discussing female events, the least he could do is guide us towards the right source for our own information quest, as I've done here.

     There is lots of information out there from professional individuals and women's clinics and other fantastic sites. I would hope that this site and the information on both phases of Menopause are helpful to somebody who, like me, has to find out somethings on their own.

©Dominique Clark 2016

#Menopause #WomensHealth #Perimenopause #Health #Postmenopause #CanadianWomensHealth 

Have You Heard?!?!?!.... (Canada Rocks, Pops & Hip-Hops)

     Despite the exceptional access to more information than ever previously imagined, the world still perceive Canada as being sparsely populated, under-educated and uncultured. Yet, we continuously export some of the 'World's Best', such as chefs, musicians, artists, engineers, researchers and so on. This also is true in the realm of music.

     Whether at the beginning, such as song-writing and sheet music, to the final production of a vinyl record or stage production. Canada is producing some of the world's best future producers, photographers, engineers and musicians.

      Our first example shall be, Sir Bryan Adams. This man has represented Canada as a musician, photographer, humanitarian and animal rights. As some contemplated Sir. Adams's retirement, he has just gotten his second wind to Rock 'n' Roll again, with the release of his new album, Get Up (log in to listen, for free.)

     Moving on to  Sass Jordan. An accomplished singer, songwriter and actress, this gorgeous 'should-have-been-a-model' blonde may have been of English birth, she is most definitively 'Canadian Made'. She is currently rocking out with her band, S.U.N. (She was even made an honorary colonel in the Canadian Forces based in Cold Lake, Alberta, in 2012.)

     And of course, there's multi-talented, guitar virtuoso and always handsome, Ian Fletcher Thornley. He's weaved in and out of the charts since his debut with Big Wreck , then his solo era (which I personally thought was fantastic) and a period of near obscurity as he dabbled with this, that and other things. Including making a family and becoming a dad. The last 5 years has seen the return of Big Wreck in 2012 (They are performing across North America this year, too, so don't miss a show. , his solo revival and another album release, Secrets, in October, 2015. (Blown Wide Open redo. Not necessary, but still done right.)

     Still wearing the bejeweled crown of 'Queen of Punk', Vancouver's imported (born in India), beautiful, powerful, and contagious joy that is Bif Naked (Beth Torbert). If ever there was an example of a living warrior princess, its Bif Naked. She represents the strength, willpower, softness and determination that is woman, Canadian and human - thank you to Kickasscanadians.ca for the article link.  She sings, designs, draws, writes (some are songs, poems and a book or two) and is spokesperson for Cancer Survivors, Animal Rights and Humanitarian projects.  

     Representing Canada is the best ways, is Monster Truck, from Hamilton, Ontario. These beautiful beasts are rocking every country that will let them in! They participate in the national pastime every chance they get! Monster Truck even went as far as sponsoring a whole team! Can you tell that I'm very much a fan? 

     Also contributing the continued life of Rock 'n' Roll, Metal Rock and the reputation of being LOUD, The Wild, from Kelowna, B.C., Canada. They are touring somewhere near you this summer. And currently enjoying some earned success with this gem, What About You?. It's playing for the last few weeks on my local station. And I dare you to not appreciate after one listen.

      Let's not forget the ever-expanding world of Hip-Hop/Rap. It's not my area of knowledge, by any stretch of the imagination, but 'I likes what I likes', and so I learn and listen. And boy, am I learning. Such as there is a whole organization dedicated to the support, promotion and future of Hip-Hop and everything it can involve from lyrics, beats, soundtracks, videos, wardrobe and so much more. Not all things Rap in Canada involve Drake and some are quite connected to their own heroes of the American Music Scene, having collaborated or currently doing so. I'm speaking of SDK - Stompdown Killa. And if you check their facebook page for this weekend, I bet you can find a show with some of our country's best up-and-coming talent.

     Some of that talent includes Merkules and Prada West, both working out of B.C. Canada. They are both actively touring Canada every other week, so check their FB pages and their Twitter accounts to catch a live show before they get too big. (Not even close to being a joke. Seriously.) And if you can't catch a show, at least support by liking, downloading and especially sharing their videos with others who would appreciate some fresh lyrics and crazy twisted flows. Check out 'One Of Those Days' - 2013, 'Leave It Alone' - 2015,
'No Chances' and also 'Balaclava Boys' - 2013. 

     Hope there's something here for everybody (except Country and such. I don't do Country.) Rock on!!!

#CanadaRocks #RockNRoll #HipHopNation #SDK #Merkules #Pradawestmusic #SassJordan #MonsterTruck #SirBryanAdams #BigWreck #IanFletcherThornley #BifNaked

I Really Didn't See You There...(Prosopagnosia, for real!)

     I have been aware of this impairment for many years and suffered many moments of embarrassment and confusion prior to self-discovery. It's seems that although there are not a massive amount of people with the same type of 'brain glitch', there are documented clinic cases and studies showing two types of face blindness: acquired (usually caused by brain injury) and congenital (unknown deficiency during the developmental stages of the brain, either during birth or early childhood). And the name of this wonderful impairment is: Prosopagnosia.

Polygon data were generated by Database Center for Life Science(DBCLS)[2]. - Polygon data are from BodyParts3D[1]…

 

   And this little 'brain glitch' comes with it's set of social and emotional issues. Your confidence takes a major hit, on a daily basis when you are misunderstood as you don't acknowledge people in public because you genuinely didn't see them. You walked past your own parents because you didn't recognize them and you just left their side around the corner not even two minutes before. You would look at pictures of your self several times over and compare them in the mirror because you just don't recognize yourself. Your now ex-husband would think you being 'dumb' because you couldn't find him in a crowd, ever.
     These kinds of misunderstandings and negative reactions to my misread actions were only amplified with a developing social anxiety that turned this "out-every-night-with-group-or-not" into "Hermit-Of-The-Year" candidate.
     Hence, the need to voice the experience that over 2% of the global population suffers from, either from the time they are born or due to some workplace accident, ski slope tumble, etc.
     This is not temporary amnesia, nor a curable affliction. The brain is a very curious instrument that we haven't even begun to understand, although we have made some progress in mapping it.
     I just wanted to have the knowledge out there on a more social platform so others know: I'm not a bitch because I didn't wave back, it's the fact that I don't recognize you; I avoid gatherings because I can't find anybody in a large crowd; I might have met you more than once, it won't change the fact that I don't remember who you are, even if you are famous.
     So there it is, it's real and it has made life very difficulty as this has cost me work, acceptance, social contact, and most of all, alienation from my own family as I've always been perceived as weird when in actuality, I just don't see things right, seriously.

#BrainInjury #Prosopagnosia #SocialAnxiety

©Dominique Clark 2016

Get The Love Back...(And why your cooking may taste like sh*t.)

       As a teenager, I LOVED to eat. So I enjoyed baking, too. The pleasure of making delicious pies, cream puffs, crepes and so many kinds of puddings. I made some fantastic apple pies from scratch, back then. And I got even more pleasure when my family would enjoy what I had made. I was still learning and more important, I wanted to keep trying even after a failure or two with some new recipe.

As I set off into repetitive, random chaos of choices and compromises that is Adulthood, the love of food became a battle against food and thus started my spiral descent into non-culinary care and fear of delectable exploration. I came to the sad resolve that nothing I would concoct would ever be edible so never presentable to others besides my family, who were also defeated to knowing the meaning of ‘Free-For-All’,  in the torture chamber that became any kitchen that I was standing in. Pizza (or other Take-Out menus) were handy when expecting company. Alcohol was helpful with the hosting or lack thereof.

Then Life shifted, as it does, presenting me with a re-do of opportunities and lots of time to think about all of everything. Since it wasn’t my first time at the rodeo, I had long decided that I would go into this new shift of circumstances using the knowledge of the past, without fear blinding my future possibilities.

I caught myself watching a cooking show now and then. Nothing ever lasted more than 15 mins (or the time of a recipe) and none of the hosts were my kind of teacher – sorry Mr. G. Ramsay. Until I came across Anna& Kristina’s Grocery Bag and I was hooked. I had previous caught some of their shows during their earlier show “The Grocery Bags” (good stuff), I just wasn’t able to appreciate what they were offering to me, at the time. During the first episode of Anna & Kristina’s Grocery Bag, I was enjoying watching them execute a random recipe for their first time and showing that mistakes happen to everybody (even you, Mr. G. Ramsay). And it was okay to try again, or find something else to create that you can accomplish.

The inspiration from Anna & Kristina’s Grocery Bag helped bring the love back for me. I cleaned out my kitchen and started making some bread. It was a re-do, of course. That is why I went for it. And I was rewarded with some pretty delicious dinner rolls. Then came the whole turkey (secret ingredient - Club House Montreal Steak Spice) and started the New Year with a Knock-Your-Socks-Off  Banana Bread, using a variation from the original Betty Crocker recipe.

And when I rocked the French Crepe recipe from King Arthur’s Flour, to the raves of my teenage son, I knew I had brought myself back to a level of contentment that was reflected in the love I infused while I was in the kitchen.

Get your ‘bake’ on, people. It might be the therapy you need.

©Dominique Clark 2016

Constant Reboot

       That’s how Life can feel for some of us. We describe our daily routine as a struggle, a battle, or some other term encompassing the random, yet consistent chaos that is your life. And the more your determination is communicated as anger, resentment, pain and such, the more the opposing forces will build against you to stop your constant attempt for change. Once you accept the theory of action, reaction and opposing balance, you will be able to find balance in the chaos that you don’t control.

       That about sums up what I have gotten out of my endless months of blog silence. The valleys have been very deep indeed and the ascensions that followed were just as breathtaking and arduous, and here I am…hitting the Reboot button on life, again. And during this mild hilltop moment, I’ve found myself writing, a lot. The love and interest in certain pastimes has returned over the last 24 months, in increments, including baking and the need to make some sweaters. All these things were lost to me during times of depressive valleys.

       I hope to make the most of this year’s opportunities, whether I create them or receive them for like-minded people. I have come to the conclusion that the struggle is more of a bumpy journey if you learn to understand and work through, around or with your situation to correct it to fit your current needs and wants. I’ve come to understand that Contentment is far easier to achieve than defined Happiness. You cannot expect respect for yourself if you don’t respect yourself.

       So I go into 2016 on another Reboot. With some unresolved situations that need to be finalized and some new ideas and hopes that may need to be realized. But the ultimate conclusion is: that I’m able to do any of what I do on a daily basis is awesome, to say the least. And I’m trying to make the most of this life as the highs and lows allow. And I’m going to use those same highs and lows to my advantage on this Reboot. 3, 2, 1…Click.

#depression, #socialanxiety, #therapy, #mentalwellness, #letstalkCanada

©DominiqueClark2016