Netflix...(More T.V.!?!)

On his 3rd day of holidays, my teenager was already bored. And he let it be known to anybody within earshot, including the neighbors and passerbys. His extra-loud music, his moaning, animal noises I had only heard on National Geo graphics. He whined about wanting a new computer so bad; he whined about needing a new Xbox 360. This carried on for well over 2 hours. (Not an exaggerations. Teenagers can be consistent for the 'right cause'.)

His last resort of battling boredom was to sit beside me at the half counter as I tried to concentrate on doing some data-entry (known as a job to some). The concept of my attention on anything but my beautiful baby boy is still not a reality, even at his age. So the conversation went like this:

"Mom. If we had Netflix, I won't be so bored."

"HAHAHAHAHA"

"Really. Why don't you check it out right now with me. It's cheap. It's works really well. And we already have everything we need to use it right away."

"HAHAHAHAHA"

"At least my broke-down Xbox can be useful to watch movies, again."

"HAHAHAHAHA"

"If we have Netflix, I'll still be here when Grandma and Grandpa stop by. If we don't get Netflix, I'll need you to take me to my friend's"

"HAHA (click,click,click.....) HAHA (click, click, click....) HAHA..."

"Thanks, Mommy! This is so cool."

And I didn't see him again until suppertime.

That's how quick, easy and joy-inducing Netflix is for my family. My hubby hasn't watched regular T.V. for 4 days now and even stated, "We only need regular T.V. for the news." (I don't think we're there yet.)

Although we are only in the first 30 days of the free trial. I do like most of the features and the different ways I can access my own account. (This is a big attracting feature for myself as you can read in other past product/service reviews.) Their selection is pretty extensive with plenty of room to grow in the Archives Department. (3 of 4 movies that I searched as some of my all-time favorites were not available.)

The picture quality is great on 3 different screens types used in the household. Audio was also great, on the T.V. and my  boy's iPod. I really like the ability to instantly view what my son's been watching. (Part of the requirement of that parental responsibility thing. LOL)

I'm still reserving my finally judgement on just how great Netflix is for when the 30-days free are up and the first bill with the real service cost is put in black and white. As it stands, it should only be towards the $10.00 when it's all tallied with the taxes and such. But I'm no spring chicken, for sure. And I don't take anything at face value. Ever. So check back in 4 weeks. I may not have such a pretty vocabulary.

Down Memory Lane...(Take Two?)

http://www.people-clipart.com/

So it's a busy time of the year for all, it seems. And although I don't necessarily partake in the preparation and shopping frenazy, it's still busy for our house, too. And my son has decided to test the boundaries of love and rules as Mom seems spread thin enough to agree/accept anything. Right?

 So as he pilfered the family wallet, starting Friday, he used his bedroom as home-base for his peeps from out of town (without much notice), announced that they would all be staying for supper come Sunday evening (announced at noon Sunday!!!). He then decided to have a "confession time" with Mom & Dad just prior to leaving for an over-nighter at another friend's house.

Well.... It turns out that after all these years of thinking that his injury was acquired during the "Elk Photo Op" was caused by a game of "Don't Touch the Lava.",this is not so. Apparently, the boys did not listen to both moms and did end up going outside while we were out quading. And this is where the story takes a twist.

The boys grabbed some golf clubs as they headed outside to hit a few golf balls into the snowbanks, in the front yard. No harm, right? READ ON. Everything was going well. It was the other boy's turn to take a swing and he told my son to step back. As my son was still only 5 years old at the time, he was distracted within seconds of hearing that request and walked right into the swinging club.

This is just an example of how nothing is what it seems when you are not there to be a witness. Especially if you're Sassylassy and her clan. I now have to deal with the fact that I may end up questioning any other events my son has recounted to me as maybe not being exactly as he described. To be revisited for sure.

Poses of Relaxation...(Kitty Style.)

Caution: Enjoy in moderation. (If stared at long enough, feelings of warm fuzzies will follow...)

Solitude Pose

                                                   Hold Me Pose 

                                                      

Group In Sync Pose

                                 Paw for Pillow Pose

Paw for Pillow Pose 2

                         Doughnut Pose

Gentleman Pose

and finally...

The "Completely Vulnerable But I Don't Care" Pose

 

 

These poses should not be attempted without first checking with a relaxation professional. All cats depicted are professionals and were closely monitored while performing all poses. Please keep watch for future installments of "Poses Of Relaxation".

And The Suprises Keep Coming...(Wouldn't You Know!)

Don't take my silence as a sign that all is calm in this little home. Especially on the feline front. Although it was a hard decision to make, one of the darling strays had to be placed into a foster home. And that's the cool part. It's an actual foster home for cats, where she'll be prepared for adoption. And now we have 2. So in the meantime, Oscar was put through the process of neutering. He didn't seem to mind, in the least. Oscar showed no discomfort or pain and continued on with life within minutes of returning home, that afternoon.

We chose to keep the 2nd stray (a Calico Long-hair) and named her Cleopatra, Cleo for short. When I picked up Oscar from the Vet, I booked Cleo in for a Check-Up, Shots and spaying. If we were going to keep her, we going to do it right for both of them, from the start. I took Cleo in this morning without any fight. After a lengthy discussion with the Vet desk, I left Cleo in good hands and went off to continue my morning. I picked up my son and off to school we went.

This was all within 15 minutes of dropping off Cleo and my cell rang. It was the Vet Clinic. Upon first examination, they discovered something surprising. Cleo wasn't a Cleo, after all! I burst out laughing, literally. And I couldn't stop. My son thought his mom was finally losing it. As I parked in front of the school, I finished promising the Clinic a new name for our pet by Pick-Up time that afternoon. My son looked puzzled as I stated the new fact of  Cleo's sex. As we all lived with this animal for a month now, it just seemed hilarious that we not notice anything protruding from under all that fur. Manual inspection would have helped but I'm not in the habit of inspecting my animals in that way.

It took all morning but we did come to an agreement for a new name for the fluffy fiend. I introduce to you: ROCCO.

I can't help but wonder what next week might bring. I couldn't begin to imagine and neither could you, believe me. Until the next mystery unsolved, be kind to your neighbor. They might own a gun.

Down Memory Lane...(Ouch! Yes, It Hurt.)

Just as I was, literally, going out the door this morning, my sister called from my mother's house to inquire about an "urgent need for pictures for the yearly calendar." (This the same calendar that was canceled in last month's email due to "poor picture quality".) Anyway, I not only went to actually look for some good pictures, I FOUND SOME COOL PICTURES! Sometimes, I surprise even myself.

During this hunt for memories, I came across  a few pix of my youngest boy, whom I treasure as a precious jewel. And one image, in particular, brought back one painful yet hilarious 'incident' that happened that left him with another permanent scar and embarrassing story for his mommy to tell when he's a really big boy.

So the story 'sort of' goes like this...

When the 'little guy' was about 6 years old, I took him with me to visit some friends who were trying their hand at raising elk and I was going to take some pix, use those for business cards and pamphlets/posters. In order to take some good shots, we thought it would be better to go look for the herd. We told the kids to stay in the house while we were out on the property, as this would be the safe thing to do. We planned on only being gone for no more than an hour. And off we went on the quads....

No more than 30 minutes had gone by and the herd was nowhere to be found as of yet. So as we came back in front of my friend's home, we both noticed that one of the employee's was trying to get our attention, desperately. As we approached the gateway access, he started to talk frantically about one of the kids being hurt and bleeding and that he didn't know what to do and started running for the Shop/Quonset. Well, this definitively got our attention and we took off running after him.

That's where we found my little boy with blood running down his face from a hole in his forehead. And this was indeed quite the gruesome sight as it looked like a piece of his forehead may have been missing. (As we learned later on that this was not the case.) The poor Shop employee was pale from panic and had to be told he could go outside for air as I was afraid he was going to faint. My friend started up her vehicle as I gathered up my boy in my arms to rush him, once again, to the emergency room.

During the time of getting his 2nd set of stitches like a pro, my son explained to the amused doctor that he and his friends were playing "Don't Touch The Lava.  He slipped  from the couch to the fireplace and bumped his head on a piece of chopped wood. Although it did require 11 stitches (4 inside/7 outside) to close his forehead, there wasn't any missing and the scar is pretty cool for a young man to show off.

Then there was the 3rd set of stitches...involving a chain-link fence, Power Rangers, and a process known as 'Morphing'. That 'adventure' is for another bedtime story, though. Until then, goodnight kids...(and play safe.)

I'm A Texter Now...(LG Rumour 2 Review)

Isn't it pretty? I think I'm truly in love with my phone. And I've only had it less than 24 hours. Sure my hubby got the exact same one almost 3 months ago. But his is black all over. My beautiful blue beauty is so pleasing to the eye that I've already thought of having a vehicle with the same color scheme and metallic brilliance. Just love the interchangeable back plate. I already switched mine out.

Of course, I used Virgin Mobile Canada to get the service up and running. I reviewed Virgin a few weeks back, with my son and hubby as guinea pigs. And I still stand by the review posted back then. Virgin Mobile has even upgraded their website service, once more. And offer even more options, without contracts. My hubby and son are still big fans of the Unlimited Texting Plan. And it's been very manageable to Top-up each account on time and without breaking-the-bank. (I just heard another $400 cellphone bill from a defeated parent. Research is a very powerful tool. I can't stress that enough.)


The LG Rumour 2 is awesome. Physically, it is a very comfortable phone to use either closed or in 'texting' mode. It's well-balanced and fits well in the hand. This is a Texter's dream phone. My hubby has transferred my son's play-list to his phone and the sound quality is quite impressive for 'just a phone'. It doesn't lack much in applications except maybe no video mode and the need for a memory card to increase storage capacity. Otherwise, this is a great buy without breaking Mom/Dad or the struggling student. The Contacts List can store up to 600 peeps!

Combine this phone with a Virgin Mobile Plan (so many to mix and match - You are in control!) and you have a great Xmas gift that won't turn into a 'money pit' in January.  Just an idea....

What Doesn't Kill You..(Will Still Cost You!)

It's Day 23 of the 'No Smoking Project' and I have not had a single cheat. This Nicorette Inhaler is working for me. Awesome! No person or animal has lost their life, as of yet. May need to shop for a new wardrobe, though. I've been doing my best to keep busy with the usual Family/Work/World combination and in my spare time, I try to get ahead with the housecleaning. You do start to realize how much time you spend smoking when you equate it to a cleaning task.

So part of life's plan to test my will to quit involves my son, Oscar the cat and XBox. Strange, yes, to an outsider. The "6 points of separation" Rule applies in this Happy Home. So there is a connection. It this is how it goes.

Oscar's girlfriends are still residing with us, despite numerous efforts to give them opportunities to find their way back to their original homes. Yet, they continue to return to this door and it's now week 2 and they sleep on our bed. Twice, now, I've been awaken to heavy pressure on the chest, restricted movement of the extremities, and very real feelings of being "watched". This may be caused by the 3 felines that have tried to band together and snuff the life out of me, in my sleep. The 1st time, I barely managed a small "help" that my hubby actually heard. I'm still in awe that he did hear as he is deaf as a post (did all the tests). (I do believe that my hubby was actually watched the kitty-kats plan my 'peaceful demise', seeing how far they could take it before I would either sleep forever or walk up really 'cranky'.)

Neither happened, as I was too terrified to really do much expect the little 'help'. I know better than to trust any animal that may share a human's home. Any animal! If you knew some of the 'stuff' animals do around myself and my loved ones, you would probably -pee your pants and die of fear- and everything in between.

Back on track...I mentioned to my son that Oscar was scheduled for his shots and 1st check-up and he asked to come. Bad Mom that I am, I actually indulged for once and called him in so he could help his mom out with cat/work/house stuff, all afternoon. And it really was worth it, too. The boy was kind enough to insist on carrying Oscar himself during the whole process, as he wanted to voice his disapproval of any treatment that seemed unnecessary to his beloved 'Animal Friend'.

The exam started immediately upon Oscar exiting his carrier. The 1st step being the insertion of a thermometer into Oscar's rectum. Well, didn't my son see this as obvious abuse. Immediately, after this followed a direct needle into the fleshy part of his behind. This does last for a couple more seconds than I would have liked as Oscar was abit more of a handful for both myself and vet tech. For round 3, Oscar require the usual "Ear Flush" as I had known that he had ear mites since kitten-hood. Wellllll!!! The sound-effects that reached us down  short hallway was quite disturbing for my usually so tough son.

"That's not Oscar, is it?" he stated really panicked. "What are they doing to him?" "They can't just being washing his ears. He sounds like he's dying!" The look on my boy's face was priceless ( says the sadistic mommy.) The vet staff was uncertain if Oscar would stick around once the towel was removed from around his body. I reassured them that he would be fine and he was. He actually jumped into the carrier as it was his only way out of that Kitty Torture Chamber. My son grabbed the cage and asked that I hurry up and pay so that 'They' could go home. I was laughing so hard in the car, I almost wet my pants.

Oscar survived his ordeal and Jessie/I survived ours. May have cost a little more for Oscar's care than first quoted and yet didn't feeling guilty at all when I denied my boy. Another day laid to rest.

Godspeed, Ladies.

Not Always The Cat Whisperer...(What the*&%#@ Is Oscar Doing?)

Day 22 without a cigarette. Giddy Up!
Anyhoe... It does seem that every-time somebody tries to quit smoking, everything in life is thrown at them so they keep reaching for that cigarette. I'm no different, in that sense. And it's no different, for me, this hundredth time of quitting. Yet, I'm doing it. And Oscar is still alive. Thank you, Nicorette.

I was in the process of marking my progress on a calendar pinned to the Games-room wall, when I noticed that I was being studied from below. As I looked past my arm to the floor, I was met by Oscar's "Puss-n-Boots" gaze. It put the hairs on the back of my neck straight up, putting me on high alert. I pretended not to notice him and was just finishing the update when I was wickedly mauled by Oscar. He had jumped from the floor to my out-stretched arm and was completely wrapped around, using all four legs. I could feel him apply the Death Squeeze that all animals of prey use on their victims.

I tried to shake Oscar off but he was on there pretty secure and had no intentions of giving up the fight he started. So I had no choice but to grab him by the back of the neck as though he was still a kitten being scolded by Mom Cat. It worked pretty quick and Oscar went limp until I released him on the ground. As soon as his paws hit the laminate floor, though, he was doing his trademark "Burnout" and down the hall he went. And this has just been one of many recent obvious, intentional attacks on behalf of our "whitle kitty-kat".

For those of you who have better things to do than read old posts, I was less than excited about having a pet in our 'comfortable' home. I b*&#@!d and complained about who was going to end up with the biggest load of work for said pet, which was shot down by denials and promises of responsibility from the rest of the family. And yet, I find myself imitating Captain Cook (of Peter Pan) dreading the 'jingle, jingle'(tick-tock), 24 hours a day. Seriously, I jest not.

Sorry, phone ringing... My hubby is out of town, which gives him priority over 'creative flow'. I did manage to tire Oscar out while holding a conversation with my hubby. And several hours later, I'm trying to getting that 'creative flow' going again. It's worth mentioning that while I was on the phone, Oscar hunted me through the house, into every room, trying to catch me by surprise. It was both comical and scary, and so many tense moments in between. I had to explain to my hubby that I needed to cover my fear with laughter or Oscar would attack, without mercy.

He's out cold and I'm going to bed. See everybody in the morning, I hope.

How Did Oscar Do That?!?!...(Then There Were 3(three))

"Everyday is a new day." Who said it first, 'cause I want to pummel them with a big stick. It's certainly a fact Chez Sassylassy that things never go quite as planned or at all. Four nights ago, 2 young female kitties showed up on our deck and slept there. And they haven't left since. I don't know how but I'm positive that Oscar had something to do with it. He's been squatting at that backdoor for the last week or so. This is now creating quite the new problems and decisions to be made.

I had done pretty well at ignoring the meows at the door the first night. On the second night, the temperature dipped to -6 C so I put a folded towel outside the door, where the two ladies were curled up. The 3rd day found the two still at the door, with the Longhair Calico meowing a hungry 'Good Morning'. So, I was obligated to get the little critters some food, which Oscar wasn't too impressed about sharing. I was hoping that as it warmed up that day, the little girls would find their way home. Off to school went my boy and off to work I went.

When I returned around lunchtime, the felines were still at the door, quiet as can be, with an empty bowl beside them. A frigid wind was picking up and I knew that I could leave the babes as is outside if they weren't going to find their own way. I constructed a makeshift shelter (oops, on the small side) with a girl's best-friend, Duct Tape and a cardboard box. Then I put in a beach towel my boy donated to the cause and put it outside on the deck. Two hours later, the kitties still wouldn't go in, so I moved it up to the door. Sure enough, they were both in the tight spot within minutes. My boy tried to bargain about letting them in for the night because it was getting colder. Unfortunately for him, I'm getting 'crusty' in my old age, and would not allow him to bring them.

Well, my hubby (who was away, don't you know) came home yesterday afternoon, to the sight of the two ladies in the box. And he just melted into a big pool of mushy goodness. I had to leave right away and didn't think twice about having to lay down any ground rules. Boy, was I wrong!

I was only gone for one hour and came home to Oscar's excitement level at 100% because my hubby had brought the Longhair Calico into our 'comfy' home. (I do need to tell you the readers that I do love my hubby dearly. I'm stating this just in case it may not come through during some storytelling.) What the f*#K? And oh yeah, I Want A F*@kin Raise. I so was not thinking it would go that way. And if I had, it probably was only for a fraction of a second, because I truly thought I could 'head this one off at the pass.')

Within the hour, my boy figured it wasn't fair to leave the other feline outside so he went and scooped that one up as well. And now we are 6. That's right. 3 of Us and 3 of them. It's too late to put them back outside as my hubby had suggested (half-hearted) prior to bed. So, here we are the next day, and everybody involved is acting like this is normal. And I'm the crazy one, eh?

We are in discussion, as a family, regarding the outcome (only one possible) and choices (limited to none) of more pets. I've already confirmed that the Short-hair cream kitty is pregnant. 1) Return to owner within next 3/4 days or 2) take to Vet/Rescue Society as abandoned stray. We are not able to care for so much more responsibility times 4 or more. 'The Jury' is still out for the Longhair Calico. May end up keeping that gorgeous little lady as a companion for Oscar. She seems to be able to stand toe to toe with him.

I can tell you this much. My hubby did ask me first thing this morning how I had slept. And I had to respond "Great. I did sleep great." Although Oscar had been to areas he shouldn't have been and touching items he shouldn't been, while I slept but at least, he wasn't jumping all over my face.

The New Girls!

Until tomorrow, Peeps....

Oscar Is Not Following The Rules...(Surprise, surprise.)

There was a fatality a few nights back. Within just minutes of putting myself to bed, I heard a horrible commotion. Since only Oscar was still roaming the house, I jumped up with 'Bottle' in hand and headed towards the noise, that was getting louder and more frantic. As I got closer to the screeching/howling in the living-room, I could see my bookcase shaking violently and dirt flying from behind the bookcase. So I immediately went to move the 'thing' way from the wall and out shot Oscar, like his life was in danger. And indeed, it was. It seems that he had managed to cause alot of damage in a extremely limited period of time. I was able to trace his steps to near perfection, as Oscar had left plenty of evidence in his wake.

COULD I PLEASE GET A BIGGER BED? PLEASE!

It started with accounting receipts scattered on the kitchen flooring along with my electronic equipment for work. Then he continue on the the half-shelves, where my little statuettes escaped further damage but other paperwork and small trinkets ended up on the living-room floor. This is where it just seemed to go wrong for Oscar. He just managed to scale the crossover from shelf to bookcase, over the phone/phone books, and was going around the "Money Tree" and kid pics, when his big behind couldn't make complete clearance and the "Money Tree" fell behind the bookcase. This must have scared the living daylights out of Oscar because he ended up falling behind the bookcase, too. And that's where all the noise started from.

After I released him from his 'just desserts', I chased Oscar down in the Games Room. I didn't turn on the light as I thought I would find him by sound. But instead, I ended up stepping on his collar which had become caught in his front paw and became unattached like it was designed to. Glad to know it works; Oscar seemed quite pleased, also. 'Bottle' in hand, I went after the little '*&#@!'. The chase lasted all of 5 minutes. In the end, I gave up, Oscar hide for awhile and my son ended up letting him sleep in his room.

This 'training' of Oscar is turning into a costly upbringing. Now I have to find another 'Money Tree'. Hopefully, one that works, this time...

Left to My Own Defence....(Aaahhh!!!!)

My In-Laws came to town this past weekend, only for the afternoon (lunch really). I was at work at the time and missed the whole family thing (except my son calling me,  to voice his upset about no ketchup). And during their flash visit, they had the pleasure to meet 'The Oscar', in person.

According my hubby, the encounter went quite well. "He didn't really attack anybody except my Dad." my hubby stated. There were comments about how gorgeous Oscar is, how fast Oscar is, how smart Oscar is, and so on. And then the In-Laws went home and my hubby left for an overnight biz-trip (which turned into the week). And I was left alone with a teenage boy and a teenage feline. And did I mention that I'm not smoking anymore. Cigarettes, anyway. It's half way through day 3 without and doing OK. Considering what I'm working with or against.

It started on the first night when my hubby went away. After a few weeks of not being attacked when falling asleep every night, Oscar has decided to start pouncing on me again. I'm now bringing the bottle to bed with me just for reinforcement. His attacks have increased in frequency and intensity. Even my hubby commented that maybe having Oscar 'fixed' wasn't such a bad idea.

Oscar reacts like a child in every way including tantrums, pouting, excessive vocal ranting, just to start. I've been trying to do more work from home, yet Oscar makes data-entry and blogging near-impossible. As I type, he has inserted himself into my sweater and now, I have a second head sticking out of my midsection. Just.. one... moment...please...

So, it's the next day and Oscar is becoming another teenager trying to rule the house while the "Big Guy" is gone. The nightly bedtime attacks have returned, with a vengeance. When Oscar launched the 3rd attack, the Quilt Monster popped up in front of him, stopping him dead in his tracks. And down the hall he went. That's the last thing I remember before the alarm went off, so he must have gone off to destroy something I haven't discovered  yet.

However, when I came back to check on my boy's progress for school, I did find the following:
1-kitty litter container in middle of kitchen (was on kitchen table when I left)
2-kitty Temptations on kitchen floor (was on counter when I left)
3-nicorette cartridges under microwave table (on counter when I left)
4-Aleve under microwave table (on counter when I left)

Does anybody-else see where I'm going with this list? I can hear that bell ringing frantically as I type, which can mean nothing but trouble for Oscar and something broken for me. Again, one moment please...

OMG! I'll never get this thing done the way I want.
POINT OF WHOLE BLOG:

Oscar looks like this... 

 and I look like this...

Serenity now! Yeah, right. TGIF (Thank God I'm Fried.) Until the next post Peeps;

Oscar's Got Some Bling...(and he don't like it!)

So during my 'time off from work', I was sorting through the bombed-out house and found a cute little 'bling' collar I had gotten for Oscar when he could maybe wear it as a belt. So he never wore it 'til now. We're going for the In-door Cat, this time. And he's starting to try the dash out the door  and other escapes. Only come close to being cut in half by the door twice, so far.

Let me explain, if you don't already know, that A) Oscar likes to hunt humans and stuff, B) Oscar is quite large for his age ( refer to yesterday's post). He's become exceptional at the ambush tactic so I needed to step-up his 'indoor-behavior' training. When speed like Oscar's is involved, just using the "Bottle" is not enough.  And Voila!!! 



Oscar is big enough for the 'bling' collar. And he reacted like I thought he would and then some. I  thought he was going to dislocate his jaw trying to tear off the bell himself. "He went crazy" is a mild description. And he was really not impressed with me, in particular. He challenged me with his big-back stance and stuff. Then he meowed his displeasure (that was torture itself, because he can talk for a long time.) And during all this, he was still wrestling frantically with the bell, to make it stop ringing in his ears. It really was alot of ringing.

I was then treated to 3 nights of 11:30 wake-up by pouncing on my head, biting my little finger, and clawing exposed skin. By the 3rd night, I took the "Bottle" to bed with me and the rest of the night was 'peaceful'.

I have complete faith that this will help us detect any future attacks. And help him find some finesse that cats usually have. Oscar, unfortunately, jumps around like an elephant and runs down the hallway like a freight-train. And I'm just waiting for the neighbors downstairs to inquire if we have a dog and not a cat. I've never had a cat who made so much noise.

It's the end of the week and he's already lighter on his feet, unfortunately not when he's jumping around or skidding across the hardwood floor. My son has asked to remove the bell as it's driving him bonkers. I replied it was the whole purpose for the collar. The bell was for our safety, in case of attacks. He stressed how targeted me mostly, so he didn't mind the attacks. The Boy still lost the argument. I do have an easier time knowing where the devilish feline is, without having to go find him, as I can hear the 'jingle' now. It may sound like Christmas when Oscar is having 'funtime' all over the house, but I'm not scared to walk down the hall anymore. So 'Jingle All the Way', baby!

Here kitty, kitty, kitty....(I got somethin' for ya. hehehe)

I finally got things back under control (fingers crossed and such). So I'm going to try to condense the "progress" made by our 'darling, little' Oscar. First off, I wish to have a DNA test as to how old this feline really is? I've gone as far as to imagine that he was starved to stay small til he was given away. But that's just my paranoid self doing the thinking there. I'm just saying. This kitty isn't a kitty anymore. And he's just 4 months old. His playful attacks on the human calves was funny until he started to weigh over 5 pounds and grew an extra 1'1/2 more. He's become faster, more cunning, deadlier.

He stalks me, now. It can be almost scary. I thought giving him treats, every-other day, when he behaved, might help train him but Whiskas Cat Treats are "kitty krack". Those are some of my favorite commercials but now that I've seen the effect on Oscar, I just want to know what they put in the treat. He gets all crazy for this stuff. And don't get me started on his "Whiskas' Special Kitty Formula". He goes ape for those 'special crunchy tasty pockets'. They look an awful lot like the "kitty krack". Visually, anyway. I've tried to document the effect on our beloved (still developing -pea-brain) pet, but I need a video cam or find my web cam. He's that fast. So in the meantime....

Oscar's games, on the other hand, are mostly playful for him and very harmful to the receiver of his attention (people, stuffed animals, walls, furniture, shadows...)

 He gets those huge pupils like this guy...

 

Then he starts doing 'super-kitty' things like flying...


That's where things turn ugly for the poor dogs who have invaded Oscar's house.

 

I especially enjoyed the wrestling moving Oscar attempted.

Which ended up looking like a dry-land belly flop, instead. So with his ego bruised, Oscar set out to stalk the victorious doggie.....

Whom he viciously attacked,(as seen on a local surveillance footage).

As Oscar checked for witnesses...

The camera was between frames for fractions of a second...

Yet, it was enough for Oscar to dispose of his tormentor and regain his domain without further challenge.

Then the kitty 'treat' wears off and we are left with this...!

Whiska Cat Treats, go figure!

So yeah, anyway, I tell you about the "bling" collar another time then. Ciao, bellas!

Sorry I'm In Your way...(& Other Things that Dumbfound Me, Myself & I).

(The following post is to be considered my first compilation of assorted events that either left me laughing hysterically, speechless (REALLY!) from blatant display of lack of braincells ,  just plain stunned that nobody got hurt, or All-of-the-Above. Every-time I think I can't be taken by surprise or be impressed by incompetence, the Human Race proves me wrong. And I'm almost thankful, sometimes. It keeps me on my toes. But most times, I just find it to be 'some kind of annoying' So read on, and please, if you've been there, leave a comment. And vent out your moment of 'ignorant bliss', whether you were a part of it or just an amused witness.)

Just a couple of weeks back...

As my husband went to check the mail across the street from our house, a vehicle driven by a female, was coming towards him. He waited for her to come to a complete stop so he could cross; you see, we live in a school zone and that was in effect. As she got closer, he made motion that he was stepping out off the curb. The woman slammed on her brakes and pointed with one hand to the other hand, which was holding a phone to her ear. My hubby stated that he swears he could lip-read the following from the young woman's mouth:

"I'm on the phone!"

That is hilarious, mind-boggling, dumbfounding,...(so many things, really). All of which say that it was just wrong, wrong, wrong. So sorry, lady, my hubby was aware of your complete disregard of numerous driving laws and that he almost became your new hood ornament. I'm a strong believer that both driver and pedestrian should follow set rules and common sense. We have alot of laws and very little common sense. This lack of common sense creates more laws and even less common sense. It's just a vicious cycle. How do we stop this before we become a society of idiots? That is the question, I fear.

And then....

It had been years since I had thought about the Boomtown Rats "I don't Like Mondays".   Today just brought me back to my teen years. That may have been due, in part to my life flashing before my eyes several times throughout the day. Also, in part, the lyrics (based on true events during the year of the song's events) explain quite eloquently (nicely) how a person can just be pushed so much, walked on so much, ignored so much, ... until they just go,



(Too Cool, non?)



Don't get me wrong, not condoning/justifying/supporting serial killers and mass murders of any kind, in any way. I do, however,  almost understand how a person ill-equipped for this world could crack in a violent and brutal way. The difference between creatively/productively crazy and morbidly insane is very fragile. Hence, my need to sing out loud as I have to negotiate this crazy, little town's traffic of insane 'should-be-contestant-on-Canada's-Worst-Drivers' population.

Anyway*/!%@. Yeah. And then....

Report of Near-Miss

Time/Date: Monday Morning- 7:45 am

Location: somewhere in Alberta, at  signaled intersection (on the the Highway the Runs through it. Weeeeeeee!!!!!)

Speed Limit: 70km/hr

Description of Incident as per potential witness:

(Note: I wrote this in a southern accent. Please forgive me, I'm french.)

As I prepared to make my turn, that way, I noticed a preddy red truck with a preddy shiney grill comin' my way, so I didn't go. Then the truck went that way on the curb then that way towards another truck. That one wasn' preddy though. Then the truck come this way, and I got real scared that I woodin' get when the lottery afterall. But the truck went the other way.

It's ok, though. I seen the other driver and he seemed to be quite ok, despite the near-miss accident. He was still textin' as the the preddy truck drove away. Good thang it didin' scare him.

signed,

Non-voluntary near-victim

(Big Breath In; Big Breath Out. Repeat.)

And then...

Dear Indebted Lowlife:

Amount Owed: $650.00

We are authorized by Big National Company, to request the following payout settlement, for your above-mentioned account, in the amount of $1,450.00.

Please forward the requested amount prior to Oct 31, 2010. or further action, including garnishee of wages, may occur.

Thank for your attention in this matter.

Respectfully Yours,

People-Paid-To-Make-Funny-Yet-Expense-Mistakes.

Response Letter from Indebted Lowlife:

(note: excerpt only. All names and locations changed to protect the innocent. And to be used in a court of law, or further correspondence, if necessary.)

I regret to inform you of my confusion upon receipt of your Pay-Out Offer for acct: 5 digit here.

(copy of original correspondence to respondent attached.)

Please forward clarification of proposed offer on behalf of Big National Company prior to further action against little old me, including garnishee of my peanut wages.



You have got to be f****n' kinding me, right?!?!?!


And then...

To make a long story short, although the names and locations have been changed, I do swear on a stack of recyclable law-books that it's all true. And I do hope you have as much funny reading as I had writing, this 'rather long first compilation' post.

Thank you and 'shout out' to all those linked URL sites that provided the just-perfect images to complement my stories of the above mentioned true incidences. They really help bring the meaning of each feeling of the story to life. Again thank you. So reader(s), please feel free to use sites for your images needs. Free publicity to all.)

Until next time... or tomorrow; whichever comes first. Kisses, My Bitches.



How Do We Do It, Ladies?...(seriously, let me know; I'm losing it!)

It is miserable out there and it's only September. We've been stuck in this pattern since the second week of August and I'm even starting to think it's enough rain already. The temperature isn't nice, either. We went from beautiful 20 Cs to icky 5 Cs and 10 Cs. It's almost time for myself to contemplate foregoing the all warnings and booking in some tanning-bed time. Just a few minutes every other day, does wonders for the psyche. And the tan, of course.

Check Oscar out! I should be so comfortable, g*d d*mn it! (Pretty vulnerable position for a provoking putty-tat.)

He has managed to finally wear on my hubby's nerves (thank frickin' god). That only took forever. He could only take some many attacks to the back of legs. He is, after all, no slinky, anymore. My hubby, that is. So when Oscar decides to hunt all humans, without prejudice, my hubby is in immediate danger of injury. I do not wish him any harm of any kind, yet I can't help but silently laugh. I can't always be telling him to watch out for the mini-tiger, can I. That would be nagging. And I do enough of that, so I've heard. So he's starting to use the "Bottle".-(mentioned yesterday)

Baking, another side-effect to gloomy, cold weather. A need for the filling, hot and hardy dishes and deserts. So I've got a Shepard's pie to make from scratch, an apple pie to put together & in the oven after Shepard's Pie and then hope I can still last till 8pm. Keep in mind I'm up at 4 am every morning, including most of my days off (yes, noise is anything louder than my breathing). So after doing all my deliveries, a few of the daily chores, plan supper, shop for necessities, do Internet/email/blog stuff, I may not be able to focus on much except the inside of my eyelids. I usually force myself to stay awake for a special treat (IE: homemade pie).

...much later. 2 days to be exact, go figure.

The Shepard's Pie disappeared within the first round, changed the Apple Pie to large Golden Cake (frosting optional), and that's holding off the hubby, for now. Oscar is down for the count, and so is my boy, for different reasons. Both will be fine soon enough. The hubby is still in front of the XBox and I have another day in the bag.

I have to go back downtown for the rest of the supplies. Already been out 3 times! If one more person even looks at me sideways just 'cause they're having a bad day, we just might end up sharing that day, if you get my meaning. (Don't make me go back out there. Those people are not nice.)

Not that I except most to notice (it'd be nice..), I did find some quite time, now, to do some blog mukmuking around. Changed some items in the sidebar, upgraded the cool lists abit, hoping for a little input maybe.... Still trying to remember that I wish to label most of my posts immediately. Otherwise, I might seem to be repeating myself.

...another day later.

Got the job out of the way for now; just have to wait for the phone to ring, so have to plan everything-else C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y. First few times, I thought I could get away with going downtown on foot. Bad choice for that particular day. Wasn't able to do everything asked of me. Today was not that day, yet. So going to fire this little piece of mumble jumble with a cute pic off to the masses (hahaha  :)  );  and see what other mess I can spread.

Remember: everybody is a closet-freak about something.

 Trust me, I know

Weeeeeeeeeee!!!...

IT IS 6 AM; I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 4 AM; IT'S MY DAY OFF. Almost felt like yelling, almost.

No photoshop involved; his eyes do glow. I swear!

This is all because of OSCAR, the TERROR.  He's been totally psychotic since 4 a.m. And I'm in the middle of planning rabbit stew for supper (we don't own any fluffies, though...) My hand has been used as a scratching post; my feet have been mauled; the net-book has been attacked 3 times (while in my lap); I've been hunted for the past 45 mins. And Oscar is starting to look damp. (Here, he comes...)

As he takes a break to feed and strategize (I'm watching him, too), I can't help but want to dunk him under the tap a couple of times, like my mom use to do to us when we got out of hand. (What? No. That's not considered abuse, now? Really? OK then.) I'm going to have to up the anti and load up with 'ice' water. After thinking about this 'devil-kitty', I do realize that it's the first time I have a feline without a partner. Usually, my pets come in pairs; it seems to avoid the loneliness during the day and stop the attacks on the humans. Doesn't always work with dogs, though. Dogs get a 'Pack' mentality and bad things happen, trust me. (Chiclet & Sleeves, R.I.P.)

(Oscar does look like this when he gets crazy. I then refer to him as 'Antonio'.)

Oscar is having an identity crisis, which I will probably share later if it evolves. Let's just say that some of his body language is less than kitty-like and more people-like, which can be disturbing, yet you can't help but be amazed when you see him carry on. I promised the men of the house that I wouldn't subject Oscar to the dreaded PROCEDURE until he was around 6 months of age. "To give him some time to experience being a boy," my young teenage son argued. Sorry kid but the date has been moved up due to unforeseen events.

There's no way I'm doing this for another 3 months, people. He's going in for his shots anyways, so we save on the fees and he doesn't have to be traumatized twice. See, it's a good thing. (Just blocked another flying attack from Ninja Pussy. That doesn't sound right, but it makes me laugh, so it stays.) And this place is not big enough..(bare with me...) point and scare, yeah!

I was saying... there's no room or time for a buddy for Oscar. And nobody knows how long Oscar will be residing here, right? Cats like to roam, right? They're natural explorers; free spirits who can feed off birdies, little rodents  - and grass. It's true! Time for more coffee. It's going to be a long day.

"We're so happy since he came into our home..."

That's what my hubby likes to tell anybody about Oscar and the happiness he has brought. Sure! It's been a load of sh*ts and giggles. Especially, the other night, when I had to corner the little fellow, ask the hubby to hold in him in a towel (for the hubby's protection) as I grabbed a Kleenex and proceeded to yank a piece of pretty, long, black thread from his rear orifice. WHAT THE HELL?!? The hubby was all flustered by the situation, mostly because the kitty had quite a mess on him to start with and boy did he stick. (Oscar, right.)

I tried to go as fast as I could cleaning up Oscar and calming down the hubby. And, yes, he was just as squeamish changing diapers. (The hubby, right.) So after releasing the kitty (who now looked stereotypical -wet spikes/disgusted look), I raced to the litter box corner to assess and fix the mess, before the hubby loses whatever he might have eaten during the day.

It was worse than I thought and required alot of breathing-holding to get started. This is an amazing feat for me, as 1. I can't swim therefore can't hold my breathe; 2. I'm a smoker since I was a wee sasslass. Not much air going in anymore. So the possibilities of dizziness and turning blue are real for me. Who knew there would be so many dangers just trying to take care of your pet?

So after all was said and done, my hubby was pissy about the mess and having been thrust into help without a choice, (which did make me enjoy it more, really) and Oscar, who was very adamant about expressing his feeling of being violated by the woman of the house. I didn't think he would get over that one. It's only been 3 days or so, so I'm still watching my back. (He is hunting me as I type this. I can see him out of the corner of my eye.  help (wrote it small so Oscar couldn't hear me.) Yes that was a funny. Not the hunting part though. He just attacked.

I'll have to take that as a sign that I won't get anymore peace from him for now. As I stated in the beginning, it's all been sh*ts and giggles. Bring it on!

Oscar's new/last training tool...(& my new bestfriend!?!)

Our Puss-N-Boots wannabe is now becoming a full blown young carnivore with urges that he doesn't seem to want to control anytime soon. And I'm running out of ideas on how to stop him from reaching the ceiling and yet helping him reach adulthood without an accident of some kind. After all, this is not my first pet and certainly not the first brat, two or four legged. Yet, he is slowly making me feel the slightest bite out-planned, out-calculated and out-energized. Despite the massive vocal and physical protests of my son ( my husband is neutral, at the moment), I've employed a tried training tool that is non-toxic, inexpensive, painless, stainless, etc.

The good old Water Bottle with Spray Nozzle.

You would think my son just saw me beating the cat with a golf club/any heavy object, when he watched me use my new 'tool' the other night. The little kitty wouldn't stay off the kitchen table, so I gave him a quick straight spray. And you should have seen Oscar go. You could see a cloud behind him as he carried on down the hall. And the noise that his baby claws make on the bare floors can be quite comical. (I'm not a sadist, so shut up!).  It was just the exact reaction that I had been looking for. I was tired of the immediate high blood-pressure, flying kitty fur, broken item used to discipline Oscar (nothing harsh, don't worry), running sprints trying to catch Oscar to complete discipline. All really work reserved for raising human babies.

The 'tool' is awesome, especially if it's an adjustable nozzle. You can get quite a bit of distance with the tight spray setting. And if kitty decides that it's still not enough to stop the bad habits. Always add cold water (cold button on water cooler/fridge door, very handy). I have found over the years that the most effective spots to spray would be in the nose/tummy/below the tail areas. Again, I stress, this in no way harms the kitty/cat.

What I d didn't do anything?

Oscar is still in  love with his caretaker (me), most of the time. It's been over a week since the 'tool' has been put in to play and there's less need to pull the trigger as sometimes,  just showing the 'tool' is enough to make him disappear. It's not over yet; I'm very aware of this. I just have to get the young master of the house to calm down about the whole process. He might change his tune.....(once he has his own to care for......That's just so corny. Yuck.) Anybody know if somebody has outfitted a 'tool' with laser-sight? If not, I might have to play with a Nerf gun and make a prototype. (Make mental note on List of Things To Do).

Free 54-40 Concert....Aaawwweeeessssoooommmmmmmeeeeee!!!

I know that I'm suppose to be too old to enjoy this kind of "got to find a mosh-pit" music but I not listening to all those naysayers. 54-40 was awesome, is awesome, will probably continue to be awesome when it comes to playing live sets.  Check out some of their videos on YouTube. They are, after all, a home-grown (sorry, just had to) band from British Columbia. And as they proudly stated, "It's been 25 years since their first album was released. It was the first of many #1s."

This great Canadian band sounds exactly like their recordings. I don't know if it was the sound system or the years of knowledge on how to tune instruments in the cold, but they rocked through ever tune. And they played as though they were having all the fun in the world, as we all hoped it wouldn't snow. (That's not a joke.)

This was all provided as a Labour Day Weekend in our little town with the Town picking up the tab. And yes, I could see the irony of this if the taxpayer (us) were picking up the tab, but they announced that this was provided by government grants. ( No, the irony of that is not lost on me, either. The crazy talk!).

It wasn't hard to keep warm if you did it right. Although I know I was getting some strange stares, (which I'm quite use to no matter what I do), I was moving like I wasn't halfway through life yet. I couldn't help myself. It was almost painful not to break into a good moshing, though I realized right away I wasn't wear the proper footwear. (Had to part with the steel-toed boots after 10 faithful years of safety and protection :) ).

My husband wasn't very aware of who this fantastic West Coast Band was (spent some years in a coma, I assume) but I dragged his ass with me anyway. His only comment so far was " How old are these guys again?" (Jealous? eh, eh, eh) And it's true, these are fine representations for females of all ages. I just had to say that because I'm deprived of Eye Candy almost 10 months out of the year. Men aren't the only ones who enjoy the warm months.

Any-hoe, back to 54 40 and their greatness. I can only hope that their stay was pleasant in the best way, so they might decide to reappear another future labour day weekend party in the park. (Quick Note: D'oh, no pix! One of my many handicaps. Sorry.)

So, I made a quick list of links of some other people's pix (couldn't post the actual pix due to something about copyright infringement, such and such...):

54 40  54 40 (2)......  Second thought, just google 54 40 band pix. You can look at more than 19 million results. I have some things to do first. Enjoy!

Everybody has a skill.....(wishful thinking, eh?)

As my personal drama with Oscar evolves to almost being jumped from behind as I turned away from him this morning, we also have signs of genius.

I've always dreamed of a trainable animal. An animal that would learn to do things not because there's a treat in the end but an animal that would learn, out of nature, as we do as babies.  As we teach our young to do things that we think are right for humans, other animals teach their young what they think their species should do.

Well, it's not splicing DNA cells, but I did manage to teach a cat how to act like a dog. And hopefully, this will continue into adulthood, as he shows ability to learn more than just "fetch".

That's right, Oscar knows how to "fetch". I've been teaching him, along with the help of my hubby, to retrieve the ball from down the hall and bring it back to us. He's really good at it. Unfortunately, at the moment, no camcorder for Utube, just yet. But, I do hope to document his awesome skill soon. Already missed out on the comical display at 6 weeks, and the ball was bigger than him. Almost peed my pants the first couple of times.

It's one of the quickest ways to tire him out in the morning and evening, as he's really hyper during those times of day. He doesn't like to play alone, another nasty human habit he's acquired. There always has to be somebody in the room, or playing with him as he gets bored really fast. I sometimes think he might have 'feline ADHD' as he gets easily distracted in the middle of doing something. Sometimes he even just falls asleep in the middle of a movement. He certainly doesn't act like a regular cat. Then again, maybe I'm just being bias. Not! Just like a parent with their perfect child, most pet owners believe they have the best pet. And I'm no different. Although, I do know that my child is not perfect and that's makes me love him more.

Oscar is finally having his morning nap, which means, as I did with my other children when they were small, I can sneak in abit of Me-Time. Gitty-up!