I Really Didn't See You There...(Prosopagnosia, for real!)

     I have been aware of this impairment for many years and suffered many moments of embarrassment and confusion prior to self-discovery. It's seems that although there are not a massive amount of people with the same type of 'brain glitch', there are documented clinic cases and studies showing two types of face blindness: acquired (usually caused by brain injury) and congenital (unknown deficiency during the developmental stages of the brain, either during birth or early childhood). And the name of this wonderful impairment is: Prosopagnosia.

Polygon data were generated by Database Center for Life Science(DBCLS)[2]. - Polygon data are from BodyParts3D[1]…

 

   And this little 'brain glitch' comes with it's set of social and emotional issues. Your confidence takes a major hit, on a daily basis when you are misunderstood as you don't acknowledge people in public because you genuinely didn't see them. You walked past your own parents because you didn't recognize them and you just left their side around the corner not even two minutes before. You would look at pictures of your self several times over and compare them in the mirror because you just don't recognize yourself. Your now ex-husband would think you being 'dumb' because you couldn't find him in a crowd, ever.
     These kinds of misunderstandings and negative reactions to my misread actions were only amplified with a developing social anxiety that turned this "out-every-night-with-group-or-not" into "Hermit-Of-The-Year" candidate.
     Hence, the need to voice the experience that over 2% of the global population suffers from, either from the time they are born or due to some workplace accident, ski slope tumble, etc.
     This is not temporary amnesia, nor a curable affliction. The brain is a very curious instrument that we haven't even begun to understand, although we have made some progress in mapping it.
     I just wanted to have the knowledge out there on a more social platform so others know: I'm not a bitch because I didn't wave back, it's the fact that I don't recognize you; I avoid gatherings because I can't find anybody in a large crowd; I might have met you more than once, it won't change the fact that I don't remember who you are, even if you are famous.
     So there it is, it's real and it has made life very difficulty as this has cost me work, acceptance, social contact, and most of all, alienation from my own family as I've always been perceived as weird when in actuality, I just don't see things right, seriously.

#BrainInjury #Prosopagnosia #SocialAnxiety

©Dominique Clark 2016

Cheap Cat Toy...(Felines Are Weird.)

     A few months ago, a large open-topped box was left on the kitchen floor and was immediately adopted by my fluffy furball, Rocco. Even once he had scratched, dug and shredded through to the kitchen floor, I was unable to remove the box as he would sleep in it.
     When my son visited, he mistook the box as garbage and threw some garbage of his own into it and 'Rocco's Box of Peace' was no more...
     Rocco started spending more time inside his apartment(kitty carrier) and less time with Oscar (alpha feline) and myself. He was also starting to use furniture for his manicures.
    Today, I had Rocco on the brain as I was walking through my local grocery store and came home with a brand new box, exactly like the one he loved so much. And this is what happened...

     Oscar had Rocco by the throat at one point, but I was unable to grab the phone-cam fast enough to bare witness. After a brief struggle and some growling, Oscar sat pouting for over half an hour and Rocco never moved a muscle for the next two hours. He will probably lived there for the next two months or so until I hear laminate under his eagle-talon claws again.

©Dominique Clark 2016

#CheapCatToys #CatsAndBoxes #FelinesAreWeird #FelineFurballs

Get The Love Back...(And why your cooking may taste like sh*t.)

       As a teenager, I LOVED to eat. So I enjoyed baking, too. The pleasure of making delicious pies, cream puffs, crepes and so many kinds of puddings. I made some fantastic apple pies from scratch, back then. And I got even more pleasure when my family would enjoy what I had made. I was still learning and more important, I wanted to keep trying even after a failure or two with some new recipe.

As I set off into repetitive, random chaos of choices and compromises that is Adulthood, the love of food became a battle against food and thus started my spiral descent into non-culinary care and fear of delectable exploration. I came to the sad resolve that nothing I would concoct would ever be edible so never presentable to others besides my family, who were also defeated to knowing the meaning of ‘Free-For-All’,  in the torture chamber that became any kitchen that I was standing in. Pizza (or other Take-Out menus) were handy when expecting company. Alcohol was helpful with the hosting or lack thereof.

Then Life shifted, as it does, presenting me with a re-do of opportunities and lots of time to think about all of everything. Since it wasn’t my first time at the rodeo, I had long decided that I would go into this new shift of circumstances using the knowledge of the past, without fear blinding my future possibilities.

I caught myself watching a cooking show now and then. Nothing ever lasted more than 15 mins (or the time of a recipe) and none of the hosts were my kind of teacher – sorry Mr. G. Ramsay. Until I came across Anna& Kristina’s Grocery Bag and I was hooked. I had previous caught some of their shows during their earlier show “The Grocery Bags” (good stuff), I just wasn’t able to appreciate what they were offering to me, at the time. During the first episode of Anna & Kristina’s Grocery Bag, I was enjoying watching them execute a random recipe for their first time and showing that mistakes happen to everybody (even you, Mr. G. Ramsay). And it was okay to try again, or find something else to create that you can accomplish.

The inspiration from Anna & Kristina’s Grocery Bag helped bring the love back for me. I cleaned out my kitchen and started making some bread. It was a re-do, of course. That is why I went for it. And I was rewarded with some pretty delicious dinner rolls. Then came the whole turkey (secret ingredient - Club House Montreal Steak Spice) and started the New Year with a Knock-Your-Socks-Off  Banana Bread, using a variation from the original Betty Crocker recipe.

And when I rocked the French Crepe recipe from King Arthur’s Flour, to the raves of my teenage son, I knew I had brought myself back to a level of contentment that was reflected in the love I infused while I was in the kitchen.

Get your ‘bake’ on, people. It might be the therapy you need.

©Dominique Clark 2016