Not Always The Cat Whisperer...(What the*&%#@ Is Oscar Doing?)

Day 22 without a cigarette. Giddy Up!
Anyhoe... It does seem that every-time somebody tries to quit smoking, everything in life is thrown at them so they keep reaching for that cigarette. I'm no different, in that sense. And it's no different, for me, this hundredth time of quitting. Yet, I'm doing it. And Oscar is still alive. Thank you, Nicorette.

I was in the process of marking my progress on a calendar pinned to the Games-room wall, when I noticed that I was being studied from below. As I looked past my arm to the floor, I was met by Oscar's "Puss-n-Boots" gaze. It put the hairs on the back of my neck straight up, putting me on high alert. I pretended not to notice him and was just finishing the update when I was wickedly mauled by Oscar. He had jumped from the floor to my out-stretched arm and was completely wrapped around, using all four legs. I could feel him apply the Death Squeeze that all animals of prey use on their victims.

I tried to shake Oscar off but he was on there pretty secure and had no intentions of giving up the fight he started. So I had no choice but to grab him by the back of the neck as though he was still a kitten being scolded by Mom Cat. It worked pretty quick and Oscar went limp until I released him on the ground. As soon as his paws hit the laminate floor, though, he was doing his trademark "Burnout" and down the hall he went. And this has just been one of many recent obvious, intentional attacks on behalf of our "whitle kitty-kat".

For those of you who have better things to do than read old posts, I was less than excited about having a pet in our 'comfortable' home. I b*&#@!d and complained about who was going to end up with the biggest load of work for said pet, which was shot down by denials and promises of responsibility from the rest of the family. And yet, I find myself imitating Captain Cook (of Peter Pan) dreading the 'jingle, jingle'(tick-tock), 24 hours a day. Seriously, I jest not.

Sorry, phone ringing... My hubby is out of town, which gives him priority over 'creative flow'. I did manage to tire Oscar out while holding a conversation with my hubby. And several hours later, I'm trying to getting that 'creative flow' going again. It's worth mentioning that while I was on the phone, Oscar hunted me through the house, into every room, trying to catch me by surprise. It was both comical and scary, and so many tense moments in between. I had to explain to my hubby that I needed to cover my fear with laughter or Oscar would attack, without mercy.

He's out cold and I'm going to bed. See everybody in the morning, I hope.

How Did Oscar Do That?!?!...(Then There Were 3(three))

"Everyday is a new day." Who said it first, 'cause I want to pummel them with a big stick. It's certainly a fact Chez Sassylassy that things never go quite as planned or at all. Four nights ago, 2 young female kitties showed up on our deck and slept there. And they haven't left since. I don't know how but I'm positive that Oscar had something to do with it. He's been squatting at that backdoor for the last week or so. This is now creating quite the new problems and decisions to be made.

I had done pretty well at ignoring the meows at the door the first night. On the second night, the temperature dipped to -6 C so I put a folded towel outside the door, where the two ladies were curled up. The 3rd day found the two still at the door, with the Longhair Calico meowing a hungry 'Good Morning'. So, I was obligated to get the little critters some food, which Oscar wasn't too impressed about sharing. I was hoping that as it warmed up that day, the little girls would find their way home. Off to school went my boy and off to work I went.

When I returned around lunchtime, the felines were still at the door, quiet as can be, with an empty bowl beside them. A frigid wind was picking up and I knew that I could leave the babes as is outside if they weren't going to find their own way. I constructed a makeshift shelter (oops, on the small side) with a girl's best-friend, Duct Tape and a cardboard box. Then I put in a beach towel my boy donated to the cause and put it outside on the deck. Two hours later, the kitties still wouldn't go in, so I moved it up to the door. Sure enough, they were both in the tight spot within minutes. My boy tried to bargain about letting them in for the night because it was getting colder. Unfortunately for him, I'm getting 'crusty' in my old age, and would not allow him to bring them.

Well, my hubby (who was away, don't you know) came home yesterday afternoon, to the sight of the two ladies in the box. And he just melted into a big pool of mushy goodness. I had to leave right away and didn't think twice about having to lay down any ground rules. Boy, was I wrong!

I was only gone for one hour and came home to Oscar's excitement level at 100% because my hubby had brought the Longhair Calico into our 'comfy' home. (I do need to tell you the readers that I do love my hubby dearly. I'm stating this just in case it may not come through during some storytelling.) What the f*#K? And oh yeah, I Want A F*@kin Raise. I so was not thinking it would go that way. And if I had, it probably was only for a fraction of a second, because I truly thought I could 'head this one off at the pass.')

Within the hour, my boy figured it wasn't fair to leave the other feline outside so he went and scooped that one up as well. And now we are 6. That's right. 3 of Us and 3 of them. It's too late to put them back outside as my hubby had suggested (half-hearted) prior to bed. So, here we are the next day, and everybody involved is acting like this is normal. And I'm the crazy one, eh?

We are in discussion, as a family, regarding the outcome (only one possible) and choices (limited to none) of more pets. I've already confirmed that the Short-hair cream kitty is pregnant. 1) Return to owner within next 3/4 days or 2) take to Vet/Rescue Society as abandoned stray. We are not able to care for so much more responsibility times 4 or more. 'The Jury' is still out for the Longhair Calico. May end up keeping that gorgeous little lady as a companion for Oscar. She seems to be able to stand toe to toe with him.

I can tell you this much. My hubby did ask me first thing this morning how I had slept. And I had to respond "Great. I did sleep great." Although Oscar had been to areas he shouldn't have been and touching items he shouldn't been, while I slept but at least, he wasn't jumping all over my face.

The New Girls!

Until tomorrow, Peeps....

Oscar Is Not Following The Rules...(Surprise, surprise.)

There was a fatality a few nights back. Within just minutes of putting myself to bed, I heard a horrible commotion. Since only Oscar was still roaming the house, I jumped up with 'Bottle' in hand and headed towards the noise, that was getting louder and more frantic. As I got closer to the screeching/howling in the living-room, I could see my bookcase shaking violently and dirt flying from behind the bookcase. So I immediately went to move the 'thing' way from the wall and out shot Oscar, like his life was in danger. And indeed, it was. It seems that he had managed to cause alot of damage in a extremely limited period of time. I was able to trace his steps to near perfection, as Oscar had left plenty of evidence in his wake.

COULD I PLEASE GET A BIGGER BED? PLEASE!

It started with accounting receipts scattered on the kitchen flooring along with my electronic equipment for work. Then he continue on the the half-shelves, where my little statuettes escaped further damage but other paperwork and small trinkets ended up on the living-room floor. This is where it just seemed to go wrong for Oscar. He just managed to scale the crossover from shelf to bookcase, over the phone/phone books, and was going around the "Money Tree" and kid pics, when his big behind couldn't make complete clearance and the "Money Tree" fell behind the bookcase. This must have scared the living daylights out of Oscar because he ended up falling behind the bookcase, too. And that's where all the noise started from.

After I released him from his 'just desserts', I chased Oscar down in the Games Room. I didn't turn on the light as I thought I would find him by sound. But instead, I ended up stepping on his collar which had become caught in his front paw and became unattached like it was designed to. Glad to know it works; Oscar seemed quite pleased, also. 'Bottle' in hand, I went after the little '*&#@!'. The chase lasted all of 5 minutes. In the end, I gave up, Oscar hide for awhile and my son ended up letting him sleep in his room.

This 'training' of Oscar is turning into a costly upbringing. Now I have to find another 'Money Tree'. Hopefully, one that works, this time...